We're the Team to Beat - a Mets and Phillies Rivalry Blog
Figgy Getaboutit!
Written by Benny B.   
Wednesday, 02 June 2010 10:42

Figgy BrickNelson Figueroa was a great story for the Mets.  He was a home town boy, routed for the Mets and was finally given a shot in to pitch for the team that he loved after 4 years of minor league purgatory when an injury bug that would span two seasons decimated Mets core players.

In 2009 when 4/5ths of the rotation was either injured or underperforming, Figgy started out strong but posted a poor record of 3-8.  However wins and loses don't tell the entire story for a team that lost almost 100 games.  He pitched about how you would expect a journey man, replacement player would pitch: Mediocre.  Anyway, the Mets didn't have any better options.

Fast forward to Spring Training 2010.  Figgy was lights out and everybody including yours truly thought he would make the 25 man roster as a reliever.  Alas, that was not the case and poor Figgy refused an assignment to the minors and was picked up by the defending NL Champs and arch rival Phillies.

Coming into the Mets series last week, Nelson did not hold back his disdain for the Mets organization:

"While it's one person's decision and it's a business, they're shocked when you take it personally. It's hard to not...In two years I gave them blood, sweat, tears, my heart and my soul - and it wasn't enough to make the team this year.....I shouldn't have had to prove that I belonged on this team."

I got news for you Nelson:  EVERY player must prove that they belong....Even Johan Santana & Doc Halliday. There are no free passes in baseball.  It's about performance and results.  Perhaps it was this display of arrogance that lost you that final roster spot.  When asked about the Mets problems, again Figgy didn't hold back:

"Everyone worries about, 'Well, what did Jimmy Rollins say?' " said Figueroa, who believes the same drama never follows the Yankees because "when you're winning, people love a winner. When you're the second-best team in your city, there's always drama with that. There's always got to be a story, whether it's a story from within looking for attention somehow....Somehow (the Phillies) got this group, somewhere along the line, to believe that they could do it and they will do it. They didn't have to force it. Day in and day out, no matter who is on the mound, we believe we're going to win."

How the hell does Figgy now knows what it's like to be a "winner" like the Yankees?  And no Drama?  Ummmm, have you ever heard of Alex "lightning rod"-riguez?  There is always drama with that guy.  And what about Texiera?  He was booed mercilessly last year and was already dubbed a bust after his slow start.  Nothing irks me more when a human being draws from experiences he never possessed.  But he saved the best for last:

"When I became the odd man out, I asked why and they said, 'It's just the move we need to make' and thought that would be enough for me to explain it to my family," he said. "That's not enough when you've given your life and been taken away from your family to do this."

Boo hoo!  Poor Nelson; getting paid handsomely to play a game for a living. Cry Plus you weren't "taken away" from your family.  This is the life you chose to live you cry baby.

"To have the rug pulled out from under you, you have to find a way to refocus, and there's no better way than first place," Figueroa said. "This clubhouse is different....They don't panic early in April when we have a two-game losing streak and wonder if the manager is getting fired, or if the GM is getting fired. It's a good feeling to know there will be a tomorrow."

Yes, it is also a good feeling when Karma comes a calling.  Not only does Nelson get hammered by giving up 3 runs in relief to the Mets after making these comments, a few days later he is DFA'd to make room for Lidge, and the Phillies are no longer in first place.  So much for that good feeling of knowing where he will be tomorrow...

It's only natural to want to stick it to the team that thought you weren't good enough.  But there is a way to do it without burning bridges.  Simply do it on the field.  Here's a newsflash for ya:  You aren't good enough Nelson to be more than a AAAA replacement.  In hindsight, the Mets made the right move passing you over for the likes of Igarishi & Takahashi.  The Mets bullpen has been solid, albeit overused with cracks starting to show.  But that is baseball, injuries are a part of the game. Had Nelson stayed in the Mets system instead of taking on an "I don't have to prove myself" attitude, he probably would have already been called up to long relieve & spot start and might be still be with the team now.

Furthermore, I have a hunch had Nelson not made these statements, he could have been offered to return to the Mets after being put on waivers; especially armed with insider information on Phillies scouting. But, this is no longer a possibility; We all know that the Mets are a team that holds grudges (see Adam Rubin vs. Omar Miniya), and regardless of how much it would make sense, Figgy has made it impossible for him to be brought back.  Try explaining that to your family, Nelson.  But hey, there is always the "good feeling" of knowing you can visit your father's brick at Citifield....

 
What do Doc and Ollie have in common?
Written by Mike Mariano   
Monday, 31 May 2010 11:24

Nothing.  I just need an excuse to write about both of them in the same article.  Roy Halladay proves himself day-in and day-out as one of the best pitchers in baseball and Olive Perez proves day-in and day-out that paying him in monopoly money would still be a waste of resources.

Doc's Perfection:  A week after Doc was named the pitcher with the nastiest stuff by the ESPN anonymous players poll, he goes out and throws a perfect game.  Unlike Dallas Braden, I'm sure there were few people in baseball surprised to hear about it.  Even sweeter it was against a divisional opponent, the Marlins, who I always love beating.  Also, it takes a little wind out of the Mets sails who've been SCREAMING AND YELLING about their recent sweep and shut-outs despite the fact that they're still only one game about .500.  My favorite thing about the day, Roy selflessly talking about how great of a job Carlos Ruiz did.  You have to love pitchers giving their catchers a ton of love, even after accomplishing one of the rarest feats in baseball history.  There's a reason that everybody loves Roy Halladay and that's a big one.

Run Support: I've heard the stats.  The Phillies have only scored like 4 runs in their last 7-8 games.  Everyone is struggling.  Rallies are harder to come by than intelligent Mets fans.  Things are going poorly at the plate, Alex wrote all about it yesterday.  However, the fact remains that there's no reason to be worried.  So the best offense in the NL over the past 3-5 years decided to take a week or two off and make some outs.  Well boo hoo, it sure has been terrible getting a taste of what Mets fans go through all the time.  This is baseball, you're going to slump and sometimes you're going to slump HARD.   This is one of those times.  If anything, I'm giddy over how good the pitching has been.  We might be losing a lot of 1-0 games, but give it up for the staff keeping teams that low.

Oliver Perez: Few things make Phillies fans happier over in Flushing than Ollie.  Back in January '09, Matt had this to say about the Ollie signing:

"his is a big win for Omar Minaya.  Scott Boras had been hoping to score a 5 year, $60 million+ deal, but the Mets refused to budge from their original 3/36 proposal.  Ultimately, it came down to the fact the the Perez market was extremely slow, and the Mets were essentially bidding against themselves. Honestly, I can't really argue with the signing.  While Perez is often erratic and frustrating, he is only 27 years old, he's a lefty, and he's shown the ability to pitch in big games.  And at $12 million, Perez is an absolute steal."

Who says that We're the Team to Beat isn't the funniest blog on the internet.  Fast forward to '10 and there are reports that two anonymous Mets players want Ollie out on the street.  Demoted, traded, whatever.  He can't start or relieve. He's useless.  And I couldn't enjoy it more.

 
This Is Getting Annoying
Written by Alex Young   
Sunday, 30 May 2010 15:40

After a quick two-game break, the Phillies are back on the shutout train after a 1-0 loss to the Marlins in south Florida. The offense just doesn't seem like it can pick itself up and the free-swinging Phils have had to rely on pitching to keep them in games, which could be a bad sign for the rest of the season considering how this team is built to win. Without Ryan, Jayson, Chase and the gang mashing the ball all over the park like we're used to, a division win that was supposed to be the easiest of their run so far may just be out of reach.

Things were looking good as the Phillies started out the month of May 13-2 including series wins against the Mets and Cardinals and a sweep of the Brewers. They scored 10 or more runs in four of those games and scored at least five in all but three of those wins. It would have been nice to have just two of those runs on Sunday as they got shutout  for the fifth time in the last eight days. Since they gave the Pirates a 12-2 beating on May 17, the Phillies are 4-7. Even after two wins against the Fish, the bats have yet to be found.

They are still in first place and have a chance to build their lead against the second place Braves as they head to Atlanta for a three-game set. The question is, who wakes up first? The Phillies, or the rest of the NL East? No team is worse than one game under .500 and only four games separate first place from last. The Phils better hope they get some room between themselves and the field in the next two weeks before interleague play gets into full swing with three big series against New York, Boston and Minnesota. We all know how well interleague has gone for Philly in the last few years, and along with a deep NL East, the Phillies could very well be looking up at all four teams in the division come July.

Worst Nightmare

I think I was one of the few Phillies fans who wasn't devastated when the team traded away playoff superhero Cliff Lee this off season. Sure it would have been swell to have him here along with Roy Halladay, but there was no way they were keeping him with the massive deal they gave Doc and the Howard deal looming. I figured that with Roy cemented as the new ace, a rejuvenated Hamels, Happ coming off a ROY quality season, and solid years from Blanton and Moyer the Phillies rotation wouldn't need him.

That reasoning, however, did not have that rotation competing for the division in a scenario where Lee was pitching for the Mets. The rumors of possible trades being made that would send Cliff to the Mets are the kind of things that cause nightmares. Although Lee's season hasn't started off great, he's playing for bottom-dweller Seattle. No doubt a move to a contender like the Mets will motivate him just like his move to Philly did last year.

Not only would such a trade give the Mets the two best left-handed pitchers in the league for the left-hitting heavy Phillies to deal with, but you've also got to expect Lee would pitch with a huge chip on his shoulder whenever he played the Phils. Phightins fans will just have to hope that this rumor remains one or we could be seeing the one that got away tilt the division scale in the favor of the Mets.

 

 
27 Scoreless
Written by Benny B.   
Thursday, 27 May 2010 23:03

Broom_icon.svgAn argument can be made that the Phillies were caught simply in a slump.  Maybe injuries are the culprit?  Or that there are over 100 games left to play and it will be all the more sweeter watching the Mets fold later on.  Yes, I am sure there are a million rationalizations taking place all over Philly right now...but here's something that's irrefutable:  The Philths just got owned and embarrassed by the Mets by getting swept and shut out for 27 straight innings.  Ouch.

No need for any real analysis.  Mets put on a clinic of NL style baseball the last 6 games: timely hitting, moving runners over, spectacular clean defense, speedy & heady base running, power displays, stealing so many bases it should be a crime and of course, masterful pitching.

The Phillies have dominated the few years...ain't no denying.  However, that is why this series is all the more satisfying and enjoyable.  Mets fans have been waiting a long, long time for a little revenge.  Moreover, the cherry on top for me is that everything I have predicted/posted on this site recently regarding the Phillies makeup has come to fruition thus far:

  • Ibanez is a defensively challenged A.L. style DH hitter injury risk who is past his prime.  He is unmovable and will ultimately prove to be a bad contract.
  • Polanco is a gold glover....2nd basemen, not 3rd baseman.   He cost the Phillies multiple runs in multiple games due to errors & poor positioning.  Another inexplicable multi year deal.
  • Brian Schneider?!  He probably could have been had on a minor league deal, and instead the Phillies give him two years when there were pitchers like Blanco & Barajas who would have killed for  one year deals.   Not smart.
The next WTTTB showdown is in August, and that is a long, long time to chew on this one.  So savor this one Phillie!  I--for one--am going to enjoy this feeling for a while regardless of how this season shakes out.  Why? Because the Mets trounced the Phillies in a manner which the Phillies NEVER have beaten the Mets.  Sheer and utter domination.  Sure the Mets have a plethora of issues; this is true.  However as far as this rivalry is concerned, the New York Metropolitans are currently The Team To Beat.

2010 WTTTB Season Series: Mets 4, Phillies 2

 

 
Mets V. Phills Part Deux
Written by Benny B.   
Tuesday, 25 May 2010 15:33

mets:phills fanHere we go again!  The Phillies take on the Mets at Citi field tonight in the first of 3 games.

The Mets come in on an emotional high after beating the world series champ Yanks 2 out of 3 which was unexpected. Of course the bragging rights are great, but even more satisfying for me was watching the Yankee loving media have to say good things about the Mets--or rather say bad things about the Yankees.  Joe Buck & McCarver are the worst; possibly worse than the ESPN announcers as they now have Orel Hersheiser to balance out the idiotic things that Joe Morgan says.  But it was absolutely torturous for Buck & McCarver to have to watch the Mets outplay the Yanks as they were openly rooting for the Yankees to come back...almost expecting that they would win.  Sorry losers.

Something that Mike left out of his statistical analytic post of why the Mets stink is the fact that Sunday marked the first time ALL SEASON that the Mets took the rubber game in a 3 game series!  That is amazingly un-good.  Out of eleven 3 game series thus far, the mets have gone to a rubber match in 7 of them, and they have lost 6.  That is not a recipe for winning baseball.  Hopefully, the recent emergence of Bay & Reyes from their offensive slumbers is a sign of things to come to reverse this trend.

The Phillies are not without their own problems.  Jimmy Rollins is back on the DL after playing in only 5 games and Lidge is too.  Happ, Romero & Ruiz are also out.  But on the bright side, you guys got Schneider back! WOO HOO!  Furthermore, there has been a lot of criticism directed toward Manuel's handling of Halladay as he has been riding him too hard too early.  The start before he got shelled by the Red Sox, he pitched one shy of his career high (133 pitches) and has averaged 120+ pitches per start.  Yes, Doc is an ace.  Yes, he has always been a work horse, but that is too many pitches per start, even for him.  It has been a very cold spring and Doc has a lot of millage on that arm.  The Mets are no better as they have already worn out their pen, but when it comes to their aces, they protect them.  If Halladay goes down, the Phillies will be in serious trouble.  They must protect Doc at all costs.

I won't even entertain the thought of a sweep, but this is still a very, very, very important series for the Mets.  If they can take 2 of 3 from the Philths with the back end of their rotation, they will be in striking distance 4 games out which should give Manual & Omar a temporary reprieve of the incessant calls for their heads.  On the other hand, if the Mets lose 2 or more, we could see Bob Melvin at the helm on Monday.

Regardless of the outcome of this series, the Mets still have some glaring issues; and the Manager is very low on that list.  Here are some things the Mets can do immediately, and should do in order to be competitve this year:

  • Cut Gary Matthews Jr.  NOW! Yes, I understand he is the backup center fielder, but he is not a defensive demon out there.  His bat is worthless and he supposedly is a divisive figure when he is not getting his playing time.  Worst case, Frenchy can play center field in a pinch and Carter can play Right.  Which brings me to:
  • Platoon Jeff Francoer with Chris Carter. Frenchy looks lost at the plate and looks like the player the Braves couldn't wait to get rid of.  That being said, he still has good numbers vs. Lefties.  Sit Frenchy vs. righties, and let "The Animal" carter get his hacks at least until Jeff can show he some sort of semblance of plate discipline.
  • Ollie Perez must accept a demotion to the minor leagues, or he should be cut. Hey Omar/Wilpon, google "Sunk Cost", you will see a picture of Perez as the definition.  You made a bad deal.  It happens.  He is getting that money regardless, so you can stop needlessly hoping he is going to turn into a pitcher he can't become. All he is doing is wasting a roster spot.  If he is going to have any value in the bullpen he needs to be converted into that role, and that is not going to happen at the big league level.
  • John Maine, I love ya, but your time is up too. I will give you a little more rope than Ollie, but not that much. If you can't break 90 MPH and throw 97% fastballs per start, it's not going to work buddy.  I wish you the best, and hope you figure things out, but if it is not his body that is damaged, it's his psyche.  Even after a good start, he is just a downer.  I have to imagine it is not pleasant to be around him in the clubhouse.
  • The Mets must trade for a legit starting pitcher. Oswalt & Millwood are the latest names to be floated around however there is a ground swelling of fans (mostly started by me) calling for Cliff Lee.  Oswalt is a great pitcher, but he has already shown signs of breaking down and the cost in prospects would be too high as the Astros would and should ask for a lot.  Millwood would cost a lot less, but you get a lot less.  That's why I come back to Lee.  The Mariners know that a) they ain't resigning him and b) he would most likely be a rental for whatever team that trades for him.  Therefore, the cost should be somewhere in between what Oswalt & Millwood would cost, and the Mets could handle that, even if they are unable to resign him as a free agent. Lee joining Pelf & Johan would instantly make the Mets rotation the best in the NL and bring more fans to the ballpark.  Plus you gotta think that Cliff would love to stick it to the team that traded him instead of paring him with Doc, as well as pitching in the spacious confines of Citi field.  Get it done Omar.  Your job may depend on it....

There you have it.  There's nothing else to say but LETS GO METS!!!  And that Shane Victorino is a little rat lying sissy punk.  Leave the binoculars at home Philly!

2010 WTTTB Season Series: Mets 1, Phillies 2

Update:

As much as last nights game was fun for me, it must have been conversely torturous for Phillie fans; like death by a million paper cuts.  It was easily the cleanest, most fundamentally sound game the Mets have played all year, and not a moment too soon.  Here's a stat for all you Reyes haters:  The Mets win over 80% of their games when Jose Reyes scores at least two runs....and you saw some vintage Jose last night.

2010 WTTTB Season Series: Mets 2, Phillies 2

Update 5/26/10

Reyes goes sky high to keep the Phillies scoreless for 18 straight innings and hits his first home run in over a year to secure the series.  Look out, Mets offense is heating up!  Big Pelf on the mound tomorrow to go for the sweep which would bring the Mets to 2 games back.

jose reyes leap

2010 WTTTB Season Series: Mets 3, Phillies 2

 

 
Trying to Explain Why the Mets are Struggling
Written by Mike Mariano   
Monday, 24 May 2010 18:05

As it stands, the Phillies walk into Citi Field tomorrow night with a 5 game lead over the Mets who're a game under .500 at 22-23.  The Mets faithful are understandably, check that (because I can't do strikethrough on here), incomprehensibly are jumping ship... in May.  Suddenly the whole team sucks.  David Wright is a bum.  Shit is literally and figuratively hitting the fan.  I'm not sure why, but that's precisely the impression the Mets faithful are giving me.  Then again, if the Mets somehow sweep the Phillies this week, then it'll be all "woo hoo" and "world series" just like it was in March.

Let's pretend for a second that the Mets are completely out of it and a crap ball club from top to bottom.  What's the problem?  Seeing as they seem to be fine on the surface it must be a deeper, underlying issue that we're not seeing.  Let's go to the statistics to try and figure this one out.  I'm sure it's something you'd have to watch day in and day out to notice.  So let's give Mets fans the benefit of the doubt -- their team sucks -- and we'll search for the answers as to why in the National League stats...

The Mets lead the league in pitches per plate appearance! [3.98]

That's a good start, more pitches almost uniformly means more problems.  Starters getting pulled early leads to bullpens being overworked leads to end of game implosions.  It's science.  Maybe their throwing a lot of junk to get guys to chase, but they're taking them.  Maybe the catchers are calling terrible games and the pitchers can't get into a groove out there.  More pitches per appearance means more waiting time in the field and guys get bored and complacent and make errors.

The Mets have the third lowest batting average on balls in play! [.287]

Maybe it's bad luck.  Maybe it's bad hitters.  I never know what to make of this stat.  The SABRE guys love it because it seems to account for good and bad luck when you're hitting.  However, when things aren't going good you don't make good contact.  You're making outs because you're hitting everything off the end of the bat or the handle.  However the Mets fans already cleared this one up -- it's not bad luck, it's bad team.  Gotcha.

The Mets are second in the league in four pitch walks issued! [34]

This one is inexcusable.  You can't walk guys on four pitches, ever.  Unless of course it's Albert Pujols or Mega Barry Bonds circa 2003 or "The Kid" Griffey Jr. circa 1998 -- then it's encouraged, if not mandatory.

The Mets lead the league on percentage of plate appearances with platoon disadvantage while pitching! [58%]

So either, the Mets simply have the least amount of switch hitters in the league or Jerry Manuel isn't playing his match-ups correctly or at all.  The latter is very possible, which leads to wonder if "the latter" applies when there are three options... I ... am going to let them one fester a little.

The Mets allow a lead high percentage of line drives hit against them! [22%]

This one is never good.  Basically, guys are hitting piss missiles all over Citi Field which explains a lot when things aren't going your way.

The Mets lead the league in strikes for which detailed information is unknown! [2]

The who? The what? The where now?  Classic Mets.

 
Prepare for a Down-tick: Interleague Play
Written by Mike Mariano   
Sunday, 23 May 2010 12:04

The current series against the Red Sox is the opening Interleague play match-up for the Phillies.  Things have gotten off to an up and down start, predictably, for the team.  The Phillies have a lifetime (since 1997) .442 winning percentage in Interleague play -- including a 6-12 record last year and a 4-11 record in 2008.  It's not unreasonable to think that over the next few weeks the Phillies will drop a few games.

One reason the Phillies have struggled in recent years can be attributed to the increased role of the bullpen in games against the American League.  AL lineups are normally full of bigger bats and overall more powerful offenses.  The "take and rake" approach is extremely popular in the AL, where working deep counts leads to starters not working as far into ballgames.  This year and the past two the Phillies have hardly had a dominant pitching staff either in the front or back end.  In 2008, the bullpen was a large reason that the Phillies went to and won the World Series, however it came on strong largely at the end of the year.  Last year, well Brad Lidge redefined the phrase "mental midget".  And this year, day in-day out you're not really sure what you're going to get out of this bullpen.

The first two games of this Red Sox series are most likely indicative of what the Phillies will get out of Interleague play.  Monday, Hamels threw well and the bullpen was solid -- a good win.  Tuesday, Kendrick was terrible and the offense sputtered a little -- a loss.  It didn't help that Dice-K took a no-no into the eighth inning, but hitting is volatile, you never know what you're going to get.  Today, Halladay is throwing (actually losing 1-0 in the third as a write this), so hopefully we can keep the bullpen out of it, get strong starting pitching and a win.  However, it's a windy day at the park and Wakefield's knuckleball should be dancing.  Stay tuned.

 
Phillies drop another to more guys you've never heard of
Written by Mike Mariano   
Wednesday, 19 May 2010 23:30

capt.d0bd0ebf88694c758e75cb6cd47b8e3d-d0bd0ebf88694c758e75cb6cd47b8e3d-0Tuesday night, Roy Halladay's gem was wasted in a 2-1 loss at the hands of Zach Duke and the Pirates bullpen who held the Phils to one run.  Last night, more of the same -- a 4-1 loss, this time against Tim Gorzelanny and the Cubs bullpen. Baseball's a funny game like that.  Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and Jayson Werth get held down by journeymen starters from time to time.  Sometimes on back to back nights, no less.

To add to the no names giving us fits, the RBIs were driven in by Starlin Castro (the youngest player in the bigs), John Baker, and Xavier Nady (who played for the Mets for god's sake).  3 defensive errors never helps either.  The Phils had a chance after getting strong pitching from Moyer, but Durbin promptly let in 2 runs and extended the game from reach.

All in all the Phils are 6-3 so far this month and still have 3 games up on the rest of the division -- one that's locked in a 3 game differential between the 2nd place Marlins and 5 place Mets.  HA! the 5th place Mets, you've got to love it.  I haven't blogged in two weeks and what do I come back to?  Mets futility.  Amazing comeback, glad to be here.

(by the way, how the hell did we lose to a team sporting this kind of effort? -->)

 
FLYERS complete insane comeback!
Written by Mike Mariano   
Friday, 14 May 2010 20:41

Absolutely unbelievable comeback by the Philadelphia Flyers completed tonight.  Down 3 games to none they won 4 straight games to win the series and advance to the Conference Semis.  Not only that, they were losing 3-0 in the first period to the Bruins in Game 7 and came back to win 4-3!  Unbelievable series, unbelievable team of guys, should be a great series to come.  Had to interject some hockey into your baseball life on this special occasion.  My apologies.

MACK112051421_large

Oh and on a side note I love the way this picture looks on the blog.  I'll be bringing pictures back to my posts ASAP.

 
A Guy’s Guide to Girl’s Baseball
Written by Erica Bauwens   
Thursday, 13 May 2010 14:33

It’s safe to assume that most of WTTTB’s readers are single, seeing as you are sitting here reading a baseball blog written by mostly other dudes and me. Well, I’m here to tell everyone that there is more to life than your bros and your baseball. In fact, there are women out there that really enjoy the sport as well. Being one of them myself I have learned to appreciate all that comes with baseball: stats, history, you know what I mean. But there comes a point where the chromosomes get crossed. There’s a lot that most girls don’t enjoy discussing that makes a man’s heart beat a little faster. So stop updating your fantasy roster for five minutes- and don’t act like you weren’t just doing that- and read on for my top tips on how to understand a baseball girl.

Stats suck:

So I was at the Phillies game lounging at Ashburn Alley with Mike M. and my other two friends (Mets fans,,, awkward) when some homeboy comes strutting up next to us with his girlfriend. He then proceeded to blabber away to his poor date for the next seven innings with every baseball statistic he has ever heard, all while the girl giggled and scanned for the nearest getaway. I couldn’t help but be reminded of my first date with my boyfriend at the same spot one year ago. My smart man watched the game and only made a comment when something happened or when he wanted crab fries. RBIs, ERAs, OBPs. We get it, you know baseball. Guess what? So do I. That doesn’t mean I want to spend two hours spitting out abbreviations. I want to talk about recent homeruns and bad calls, not every single stupid stat you’ve read through online blogs like this. Save the stats for your bros, boys.

Girls don’t need a history lesson:

When trying to impress a girl or hold out some type of conversation with the opposite sex, leave the past in the past. No girl wants to discuss Mike Schmidt’s career play-by-play. Honestly, I don’t even understand how you men do it. As awesome as past players are, they do not make for interesting or appealing conversation. It only leads to drawn-out, overly-opinionated conversation that I find very unattractive. It’s great that you love your team, but we don’t need evidence. Why not discuss what’s going on now? Keep things light and interesting. Old players are dusty and boring, but the players now keep on changing.

The players become our best friends:

I have a confession: Carlos Ruiz became my favorite player partially because I think he is the most adorable man on the planet and has an awesome voice. To a woman, a player is more than just their position. They are a person we get attached to, kind of like a really attractive puppy or something. How else do you think Chase Utley and Cole Hamels became fan favorites? Come on, they look like Disney princes. A girl does not want to get into a statistical shouting match over players. So many girls I know like players because they are talented, but also because they look like they would be fun to hang out with. Like in dating, a player’s personality is key. I mean, it took me months to warm up to Jayson Werth, even when he was knocking ball after ball out of the park. Then he showed up to spring training in that astounding beard, and I was sold. When talking players, keep the hard facts to a minimum and talk about the things you would never tell your bros: like how darn cute Ryan Howard looks in the Subway commercials.

Your lady does not want to hear about how hot the ball girls are:

Everyone in the stadium knows that they are just there to be your fantasy. After all, they are smoking hot and working for your favorite team. I mean, come on, that job isn’t actually necessary, but put a girl in pinstripes and short-shorts and ticket sales might just go up. So lets refrain from the cat calls in the presence of your date. Maybe compliment them instead. Just consider how many times your girl’s kept her mouth shut when Chase Utley came strutting on the field.

Keep the competition to a minimum:

If you are one of the many couples keeping a relationship alive through a baseball rivalry make sure you play nice. Sure, a nice jab here and there always feels really good, but I wouldn’t spend my time ripping my man apart if he was a Mets fan. Sure, it’s really easy to do, and I’ve got plenty of material, but it is not the way to a person’s heart. I’ll be the first to tell you that, yes, girls are completely crazy. If some guy tries to knock my team, it takes a lot of strength for me not to bite back, and when a girl gets mad, it can get super ugly. So the next time you want to shout out an insult just take a breath, walk away, find a Yankees fan and let it all out.

What if your girl is rooting for the same team as you? I’ve got news for all you guys: you are not your team’s number one fan. There are much crazier and more over-the-top people out there. Don’t try and compete with a girl to decide who loves your team more. You may win the argument, but you’ll lose so much more in the long run.

I’m not saying girls are not as into baseball as guys. Everyone knows that isn’t true. I’m just saying that girls have so much more invested in their lives than just statistics and numbers. You don’t have to dumb down your conversations to impress a chick, but your knowledge of every single thing in the history of baseball won’t impress her either. So, why are you still reading this? Get out there and start talking.

 
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